the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
