Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
