tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Randomize
