We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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