i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
