I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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