We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
