There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
