Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
