i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize