is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
