I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't you send me to vm
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
