I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
