ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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