You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
