whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
