Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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