I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
