shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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