He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
