She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
