Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize