Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
