Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
