i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
