dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
