He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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