my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
