so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He did a backflip because drugs
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