Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
