dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
