i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
