You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
