I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
