Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
