Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
