First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
