Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
