3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I love black thongs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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