we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
