He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
