If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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