when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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