apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
