Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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