Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
