Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
