I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
