My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
