the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
