im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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