His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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