YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
