Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
