adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dicks are not precious.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
