Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
