So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
