If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So many bounce houses so little time
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
