forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
