and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
