the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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