There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am midnight drunk by noon
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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