is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
