maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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