just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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