Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
