it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
