I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
